now the joy. . .

Today is my son's 3rd birthday. Last night we were cleaning up his room and I found one of those cozy pajamas with the feet in (that's what I call them) and I said, "Try it on, try it on! Let's just see if it fits!" Clearly I was excited, not to mention the anticipation for what he dubbed "the best party. . .ever". So, he tried it on. It just fit. I mean, it kinda dipped at the neck, rode up and was snug around his heels. He tried to take it off (and he tried telling me that he didnt "want these socks on my feet", but being the beautiful struggler that I am and not wanting to turn on the heat I was like, "no keep it on so you can be warm (and cute)". He kept it on. Whew!
Today, I woke up extra early for a frozen over Saturday and got a jump on getting the party started. I inflated the Jump-o-leen, put extra rugs all over to sop up boot dribble, set up some of the presents, and did some last minute tidying. . .cause last minute is how I do it. But before all that I said a prayer (more on that later). When my baby boy woke up, and after I did the whole excited mommy all in love with her son on his birthday thing, we took our baths and when it was time to get dressed, he wanted to put the "pajamas with the feet" back on. Whoa! The "socks" he didnt want on his feet 10 hours prior are now the only thing he wants to wear. Maybe it had something to do with the chill in the air, but I felt a jolt or something telling me that my son loves me and because he knew that I liked something, he liked it, too. That was the first time my eyes welled up.
The second tear-jerker was after an extra special phone call. From whom?? My-son's-father!! Let me catch the reader up. We havent heard from this guy since Mothers' Day and we havent seen him since. . .I can't remember. I have been sending up prayers for him to come around and trying to get his family to send him our way. I've also been praying that whenever he did finally call, that I would be a peaceful and loving individual instead of the dry, unenthused, jilted ex-fiance I had been. I know that he can't be totally at peace not caring for his son and I know that maybe me and all that comes with me may be a tad intimidating for him so I figured the "open arms/i love you cause we made a beautiful baby" approach might be the best way to go, especially to ensure an eventual return to my son's life. So, he called. I was a little less dry, but not quite out of the desert. He talked to his son, thank you God. And. . .he gave me a phone number so maybe we can do some weekly check-ins and updates. Could it be? My son has an active father? God is good. But, back to the tears. I dont know. I just cried after we hung up the phone. It was a mostly unhappy cry, but I think some relief was up in there, too. Luckily, my friend came over just about then and brought me back up out of that haze not daze. Then, I got to make a couple runs. . .in solitude. And think. Looking for birthday party stuff is a good picker-upper. I welled up one more time, maybe two. I think that genuine, mother's prayer did it. Aint nothing like a mother's prayer, please believe it. It prepared me for the day, the phone call and the gratitude I wanted to show our guests and I believe my son had a good ol' day.
Following the party, I went to a meeting. A friend from grad school invited me through a very vague, confusing invite. But, I know she is kewl so I went. I'm so glad. It was great. She is starting an organization and needs joiners. I'm down for the cause of sisterhood and upliftment (is that a word?)
So, on this the 3rd anniversary of the day God blessed me to have a beautiful, drug-free birthing experience and a beautiful baby boy, I can truly say I had a beautiful, wonderful day. Yea, yea, yea. . .my son did, too.

The Man Behind the Curtain

Ah, life as an adult. It kinda sucks when you realize that so many of the concepts and beliefs and people and stuff that you valued as doctrine are flimsy, paper-thin and see through. With some of them I try to ignore the let down. No big deal. I kinda wondered about you anyway. But there are a select few in whom settling for mediocrity is a big disappointment TO ME.

(Note: This has been on the bench for months and I can't remember how I intended to finish it. However, the concept is very real to me so I'm - a - gonna publish. Maybe a cool link/pic/video will close me out right nice.) Off you go.