Here's an interesting story.
http://www.livescience.com/animals/090407-chimp-sex.html
I am currently reading Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man and I am very pleased and reassured with the fact that he states the necessity for women to allow men to be men, which includes being real providers. Now, I get the impression that he is referring to your live-in and not every fun loving guy you take for a swing around the dance floor, but still I appreciate his position. Here's why; In my one and only real, live live-in situation, of whose setbacks I am currently paying, crying, praying and clawing my way out of, I realized, sometime after the appearance of the first grey hair and the occurence of the cheating, that I am not meant to be with a man who is not a provider. I almost pause to say that, then I remember how crummy it felt to be in a situation other than what I feel is right. Maybe there are people/women out there who are being honest when they say they dont need a helpmeet, they got 'dis, they're independent/sassy/classy, do what they wanna do types. Sure. But clearly (from experience) that is NOT me.
I like having a full schedule that includes home, family, career and civic responsibilities. I think I would live a jubilant life as a stay at home, dont get me wrong (or it twisted), but I would have to make important and meaningful contributions to the family and to my community. This is exactly where I think the confusion comes in. It seems that everyone wants to get everything they want from the opposite sex and if anything is required or asked of them in return, then forget it! I dont need nobody. F*** these n-words! F*** these h***.
I understand where it comes from. I get it. Alot of times the requirements and requests are a bit much or at least too damned self-centered. So many of us have already witnessed and/or experienced "foul" people of the opposite sex that we dont have much hope for meeting a good one. How many men are already accustomed to the idea that a stay at home woman is one who is a lazy, pot-bellied, baby-making machine who wont so much as acknowledge a man's hard work after a long day? How many believe that living with a woman period is equivalent to a life of sorrow? That's real sad. We have very little faith in one another. I have that problem, too. There are certain guys (female friends, too) who I have to distance myself from because they are so disillusioned with people that they leave no room for mistakes. You raise your voice (which people tend to do. . .apologize, no big deal)and they close their hearts to you. You show an interest in something physical and he seems to flip his "I hate you" switch on. You can see them moving to an accusatory line of questioning based off their past experiences and their bags. Plus, we have our own instances of succumbing to our love/hate below and we dont want to give that up so we all just run around pinching off as much as we can get and ignoring the afterburn until we can't even feel it anymore.
All that to say, maybe me would do well to take a lesson from these primates. We all have different needs. We all need each other to fulfill these needs (DANGIT! WE DO!) Let's all indulge in mutually beneficial relationships. If you sprinkle just a little bit of love on top of mine, I'm game!
