ashiningstarforyoutosee

I had the opportunity to attend a "discussion", I'll call it, with a popular Black female "social commentator". One of the things that became immediately apparent was that she is damned straight-forward. Why would I write a blog about someone being straight-forward? Because, it comes off to me as "just not nice". I mean, do you. If you dont like photography while your talking, say it, which she did. If you kickin the truth that could heal some hearts and minds and break some more or less self imposed shackles (or atleast, they are self-imposed at this late date) that have us bound, kick it, which she did. But I have a problem when I miss that consideration for X. If my life is different from yours, there are several reasons, not just because you're extraordinary and I'm regular. Errr ummm, not to hang on to every little word, but that's how other women were described by this "social commentator"; "they're not like me, they're regular". Whoa. Now, this struck me because this "commentator" is excellent with words and she was cool with that statement. This brings me to the bridge, bust it: If you look a mess and don't get that much play from men (or you get so immersed in other things such as academia, work, family, etc. that you let yourself go physically) then can you compare yourself to a woman who is very involved in her personal appearance or a woman who is just naturally more appealing and gets mad play in terms of who's more extraordinary for their dealings with men? Case in point: I maintained my "flower" all the way through high school and college. I got so much celebration from adults telling me how self-regulated and intelligent and blah blah blah I was. The praise was pretty hollow to me because I felt/knew/believed that I was only undeflowered because I was a tall, skinny awkward nerd in my own eyes and none of the boys I would've ventured to hand my flower to were showing me interest. Now, take me as I am today, a jilted-ex, baby-mama, slightly jaded, still hopeless romantic, tall and thin, but shapely, Scorpi-Oh no (oh, yes) and I guess you might say that I, too, am regular. Eventhough I am mistaken for snooty, I get a little eenchy bit of play and I like it and I'm sure it has an effect. I like being/working toward being grounded and with the folk so, eh. I still like who I am today. I'm glad I take more care in my appearance and stylishly accentuate myself. I don't think I am regular, just like I think everyone has their special spot. My experience help define me and I'm kewl with that. And I'm still a work in progress just like all yall regular folk.