So, I'm in a state of internal turmoil that no one knows, of course, cause that's me -- just hold it all in until it turns into a pimple or a headache or a screamfest. Then, all of a sudden comes along a loved one who is also having some degree of turmoil BUT everyone knows. Well, we might recognize it as internal turmoil, but we know that she aint being her nicest and we're kinda scared and jittery and careful - even when she's not around because if we get too quiet she'll think we're talking about her and come yell at us - and if we make too much noise she'll wonder where we got the nerve to be happy when she is other than happy. My thing is, I can't be the antidote to your outward, overt, nauseating, head-cracking neediness cause I'm mentally, internally, possibly foolishly -but in my mind the best idea- trying to deal with mine. My emotional cup runneth over and although I can woo-woo-woo two people at the same time (quite well, actually but usually to my own detriment), I can't woo-woo-woo myself and another emotionally needy individual at the same time. It just turns out bad. Like, real bad. Like, silent revolution that just pissed everybody off bad. It'll be alright in the morning. Or later. I suppose.
Now I'm home ALONE and it ROCKS! That's a new one for me (appreciating time alone). I gotta do this more.
I really hate hurting feelings. I also really hate outside pressure on top of my inside pressure. How'd I get to be me?
