I find myself having some serious digestive issues lately. After thinking it over and trying every natural remedy with which I am familiar, it dawned on me; maybe it is stress. I am very familiar with suffering physically in response to stress. I usually think that I'm dealing with stress just fine. In intense situations you can find me breathing and silently chanting my little optimistic affirmations about this too passing and my ability to pull through. But more often than not I'll come down with a headache later or my neck and shoulder area will ache really really really bad. Here lately, I am experiencing a bird of a totally different feather. After a long evening of dramatic conversation, my stomach seems to stop! Yep, it just stops. At first, I thought it was due to my overeating. . .okay, maybe that's part of it, but I truly believe that its a response to stress. Further, I think that I have a genuine aversion to too much talking. Thoughtful conversation is energy or at least it requires energy. Once I feel that the conversation has reached the edge of its usefulness or that too much energy (compared to its worth) has been expended on it, I have to move on. It's making me sick! Sick! Everyone knows me as a quiet person. Here's one of the reasons why. There is just too much pontification on worn-out issues going on. Dont get it twisted. I can listen to my beloved minister do his thing. I can join in on a community lecture. These things actually satisfy my soul. But when one person or one topic is drudged through the mud til there's just dry, bare bones where juicy meat used to be. . .let's drop it.
Now, the significance to my goddess quest: Imma hafta get over this. I believe that people are entitled to their opinions. Just because I'm not a big talker doesnt mean that I shouldnt give the talkers fair ground to do just so. Besides, I like to have Big Talkers in my close circle because I suck at it and they balance me. But at the same time, I shouldn't sit up and listen AT LENGTH to some sh*! I no longer want to hear. I'm thinking the solution (which is always the solution, by the way) is: open, honest, unashamed, forthright, strongwilled communication. And when that doesn't work I'll try unashamed, forthright, strongwilled subject switching. For my tummy in the meantime, I'll try to find a better weight gain strategy than eating 2.5 servings of grits for brunch (but please believe, I aint losing one inch of hip/booty/thigh meat!)
Holla!
